It seems like every time I log onto Facebook lately, there's another status update about how much life sucks, how much you can't trust people, and which friends are really "true" friends. The majority of these updates tend to come from young people between the ages of 12 and 20. I don't want to appear insensitive or callous, but allow me to posit one question...What the HELL are you complaining about?!?!?
I am doing my best to avoid becoming that "adult," and I use the term lightly, who always rags on the teenagers. I don't want to be, nor do I ever intend to become that guy who "just doesn't understand" what young people are going through...the divide is just so huge isn't it? I don't buy that my status as "nearly thirty" renders me incapable of identifying with today's teenagers(technically, I still fit in the category of today's youth). 10-15 years may be a good chunk of time, but there are certain truths that I firmly and whole-heartedly believe NEVER CHANGE.
I've said it before, and I will say it again until I'm hoarse. Expect, or go looking for crap, and that is all you will find. If I walk outside on any random day thinking to myself, "I am gonna fight the first person who looks at me the wrong way," chances are whomever that unlucky fellow is, I probably looked at him the wrong way first!
It is nearly impossible to keep your negative feelings from manifesting in an outward fashion, and when you choose to wallow, and yes its a choice, you will discover that others are pulled down into the muck right alongside you. I suppose misery loves company...but you know what loves company even more...laughter, love, joy...they are as infectious as the swine flu.
I feel like I'm slowly veering into self-help land. I'm not Deepak Chopra, nor do I hold the "secret," and I can't give you a spiritual plan that will help you live a life driven by purpose. All I can share is what I've experienced, and what I've experienced is what I observe. If you really take a good look around, you'll see that people rarely hurt you deliberately. every action we pursue is motivated by something.
Allow me to Anecdotize:
I had the pleasure of working as a guest connections employee at the Chicago Children's Museum for about two years while in grad school. One of my favorite exhibits was also the biggest pain. Waterways: a huge turret of the Navy Pier which served as an example of how human beings harnessed and utilized our favorite force of nature, water, throughout history and the world. A Brilliant exhibit, and a great way to interact with guests and engage the many children and families who shuffled through our halls daily.
As you enter the exhibit, and guest would find a wall filled with hooks, and hanging from those hooks, was a line of multicolored, multi-sized rain coats that most parents demanded their children wear. My least favorite job when covering waterways was rearranging and re-hanging those coats. At the start of any shift I would hang them up in order of size and color: Light blue, the smallest, followed by purple, yellow, navy blue, and red, the largest. They would hang that way for about ten minutes, and then I'd turn around and the coats would be scattered about helter skelter. Parents would walk out of the exhibit proper, stare at the wall, and then hang the coat on whatever hook appealed to them. That is, if the coats didn't end up in a wet pile on the floor. The question that always ran through my head was "if you aren't seeing the hanging pattern of these coats, what else in life are you missing?"
Unfortunately, that's what happened. People missed the pattern. That, and some particularly tiny children would get ahead of their parents, and not knowing the rules, drop the coats on the ground. Plus, some parents were just overwhelmed by the fact that the were the sole parental unit in charge of 6 children for the day, and were too distracted to realize they were putting them in the wrong place.
These factors are true, but I never really considered them while working. what follows is a revelation I had just last evening.
Realizing all of those factors, I had a choice to make. I could've just stood there and let the coats pile up on the ground, or as I often did, just hang them wherever and let the next employee deal with the order. The latter of the two just served to frustrate the next person covering the exhibit, and confuse the guests. Thus the cycle of bad vibes would continue. So, most of the time, I choked down my peeves, slapped on a smile, and arranged those coats again for the next set of guests. sure people had made a mess of things...but it needed to be fixed, and the coat just happened to be in my hand.
And that is the question I have for all of you who have updated your status in such a depressing fashion as of late. What are you missing? Take a look around and ask yourself that. Really look. Examine what motivates the lives and choices of these friends who seem to be making your life miserable. Ask yourself...what are they experiencing, and then in turn, what do you really have to feel that bad about. I know life comes at you quick, and a great deal of us are still trying to figure out how to feel emotions in a productive way, as opposed to destructive, but right now, at your tender young age...what is really so bad?
The rain coat is in your hand. Now where you gonna put it?
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